Questions

I have so many questions for Drake Bell right now.

First off, who the hell do you think you are?

No, seriously, give a girl a hand. Who the fuck are you again?

Why is it that I should know your name?

Why is that I should give a crap about anything you think?

Are you some sort of Olympic historian? Why are you so worried about the sanctity of a person's given name? Is there sanctity to a person's given name? 

Are you under the impression that somehow all of the accomplishments a person achieves disappears with a name change?

So, should all women who chose to take their husband's last name after marriage face the fact that their lives up until that moment no longer exist because their names changed?

Are you a fucking idiot?

Has the public somehow missed the fact that you're totally obsessed with competitive running? Do you have some significant connection with a race that was run before you were even born?

Were you obsessed with Tropicana orange juice when you were a kid? Is that where this is coming from?

Seriously, what the fuck? Why are you such a fucking dick? Were you so desperate to get back into the tiny limelight you once felt that you thought it would be totally cool to say something so moronic and, quite frankly, inconsequential?

Grow up, man. You're not 12 anymore. Stop saying shit you expect to hear out of the mouth of one. Honestly, hard truth here, no one cares what you think anyway.