Grandma Bernice: The New Propaganda Machine

In this age of the Internet and social media, propaganda is not just the work and ammunition of governments and political parties anymore. Any run of the mill human being can now join in on the fun of spreading lies and misinformation just like their favorite underhanded politicians.

In just one afternoon on Facebook, you can see dozens of articles, click bait and videos promoting false angles on news stories in addition to the straight-out lies being floated around.

And even though we may see that these stories have originated from websites or organizations that are fueled by alternative facts, also known as fiction, most of the time we see them because a friend or family member has shared them.

We are assaulted with this propaganda every day of our lives and multiple times a day at that, either from some random trashy pop-up or a hate-filed meme that Grandma Bernice shared implying that illegal immigrants collect welfare and she can solve the problem by typing "Amen".

This new society of ours is moving and expanding at such a rate that we're not even aware that we've become the yellow journalists of the past. Who needs unethical reporters when our own citizens can spread gross exaggeration much easier?

When @POTUS45 said live and on the air that Chicago was worse than Afghanistan and that people were being shot left and right, real reporters across the country did their homework and checked his false figures. Real journalists and writers began immediately shedding light on his lies while the yellow journalists out in the Interwebs began to spread his disease of misinformation like wildfire.

Sure, a number of "real" news outlets have stoked the flames but even those are finding it hard to completely ignore the lies coming out of our current administration. But have the great citizens of our country who follow our @POTUS so blindly been listening to these organizations that they once loved to quote outright?

No. No, they're not.

They've been ignoring anyone with a degree and the ability to put two words together and opted instead to become the wheels of their own propaganda machine. They latch on to anyone they can find with a matching opinion and a loud enough voice and then throw their false facts, their exaggerated claims without one speck of research behind them and their righteous indignation to the masses.

And we of the world are their victims.

Shame on the Shamers.

Okay, enough's enough. For real. I think the Internet it great. I really do. It has done so much to open up our world and allow us to see and experience things that we'd never have the opportunity to otherwise. We can connect with people across the country or across the planet. You can fall in love with someone you'd never even have the chance to meet. You can see what it really and truly means to live in another place. You can see how different people are from region to region and, more importantly, how similar we are. You can keep in touch with family far away wth the click of a mouse or the touch of a screen. And you can now even help people in your neighborhood or in a place you've never even heard of -- how cool is that?! 

You know what else you can do, though?

You can make someone else feel like complete and utter shit just for the fucking fun of it. 

Seriously. 

Let's talk for real right now.

What the hell, people?

Why has shaming become the new Internet pastime? Now, I realize that the Internet is not a bar. Everyone is on it. And certainly, like every middle school and high school across the planet, where 12 - 17 year olds go, so does fucking little bitch attitudes and an atmosphere ripe with hormones and bullying. But that's not who I'm talking to here. Because, for the most part, we were all little shits when we were that age. We all thought that we knew everything, were smarter than everyone and any teeny tiny difference we saw in the people around use we considered suspect. I'm talking to the full fledged adults that are supposed to be showing these teenage hemorrhoids how to behave instead of joining in on their inexcusable and horrifying behavior.

Whether it's fat shaming or slut shaming or any other kind of shaming that doesn't yet have its own catchy moniker (like skinny shaming cause that's a for real problem, too)-- it's seriously unacceptable and anyone that partakes in this kind of adolescent and pathetic behavior needs to take a good, long, hard look in the mirror and figure out what in the fuck is wrong with them.

How is it that so many of us never really mature beyond the high school level? Why is it that a very good portion of the population realizes as they age that this type of behavior is both a neon sign that its owners feel gravely lacking in some way and truly is, at its core, just fundamentally wrong while the rest of the world has decided that they can basically treat anyone however the fuck they want to? How is it that this kind of dichotomy exists?

What is it about certain people that makes them think that they are allowed to act any way that they please? Why do they feel that it's their job to judge others and proclaim their assessment for all to hear? How is it that these people think that their words of derision and condescension are a fucking public service? 

Facebook has become a hotbed for horrible shaming of all kinds. Last week, I actually read one woman write in a comment about the recent Lane Bryant commercial that both NBC and ABC refused to air due to decency laws that the female in the spot that was pictured breastfeeding was a whore. Seriously, she called a breastfeeding woman a whore. 

What in the ever-loving fuck is wrong with someone like that?

Let's just throw away the fact that, basically, at the beginning of "civilized" society men decided that a woman's body was only for their pleasure and arousal so that while they could trounce around without a shirt on whenever they pleased (as long as they weren't entering a food-selling establishment in which case you better have shoes on too) while we women had to cover up our breasts, particularly the old nipplage. Like I said, let's just throw that shit away. That part of the double standard isn't even going to enter into my argument here. If you're going to take exception to a woman who is showing more of her body than you're used to why pick on the woman using her breasts for the actual reason that they were created? She's fucking feeding a goddamn child. There is absolutely nothing sexual going on with what she's doing in the slightest and yet this Confucius-like pronouncer calls her the dirtiest word you can call a person. 

I'd like to turn this around on the woman who made the comment and say, if you see a woman breastfeeding her child and immediately find the best description to be one of a sexual and unseemly nature then, lady, you're the person that has something wrong with them. Honestly, that comment was deplorable. 

When Kim Kardashian posted her nude selfie, the Internet blew up with people calling her a slut. Fuck, I blogged about it. And when a Melbourne street artist showed support and painted a mural of said selfie, it was defaced with the word "slut" eight fucking hours later. 

Seriously, people. Do we not have more things that we can use to insult Kim Kardashian? She does nothing. She's the personification of mouth-breathing. Do we really need to call her a slut? We didn't call Ray J a slut and he was in that goddamn video wth her. Granted, we don't call Ray J much of anything anymore, but that's beside the point. 

And it's not just the women of the world who face shaming (not that that would make it okay). Just ask Wentworth Miller who recently spoke out against the fat shaming he faced after putting on weight in the wake of his depression. And kudos to him for coming forward and bravely talking about his struggles. I happen to know, because of working at a place he frequented in Los Angeles (which I won't give any more clues to for privacy reasons -- it's not juicy or exciting just a place most of us all go as humans) that he's a very quiet and private person. Some might say shy. And this man, who never treated me or any of my coworkers with anything other than respect and kindness, now feels the need to come forward and share a piece of himself that he probably isn't totally comfortable sharing just so that other people going through the same thing will hopefully feel a little bit better about themselves. And all just because The LAD Bible forgot what actual reporting was and got it confusing with bullying. Now, I will say that they (The LAD Bible) have since apologized with an open letter to Mr. Miller on their Facebook page and addressed the topic of mental health. Hopefully, we'll see in their future actions that they really mean the apology they published. I certainly hope so. But, let's face it, the damage is already done. Shaming never just affects one person. It affects all those who witness the shaming, as well. And as great as an apology is (and truly, apologizing takes guts) I urge anyone reading this to consider your actions first, not second. 

Now, I'm in no way saying that we shouldn't rally around wrongdoing or give our opinions about things in the public eye or things that affect us. It's the way we do it. It's the language we use and the vehemence behind our words. It's who we say it to. And it's WHY we say it. 

Are you asking your relative or friend to take more care with their health because you love them and want them to be with you as long as possible or are you yelling at a stranger on the street or posting a "funny" comic on the Internet, as one of my former co-workers recently did? Because those are two very different situations. The first is a show of concern for someone we have information about and have a real relationship with and the second is a fucking little prick thinking his piece of shit 20-year old ass is a wizen old man who has the right to judge others and make a joke out of something that millions of people struggle with. 

See the difference you Tokyo Drift-loving motherfucker? 

Enough is enough. It's time for shaming to be something that more than just mothers and teachers make sure the people around them aren't doing. It's time for those of us who know better to become united and vocal about the "adult" bullies who seem to have Peter Panned in the worst possible way. And it's time to stop treating people's feelings like weaknesses instead of the significant influence they actually are.

Down with Hate

So, about a week and a half ago I clicked on an article that was brought to you by Cafe Mom's The Stir. It was my fault for clicking the link. Normally I'm not a sucker for articles like this "90s Heartthrobs Who Look Awful Now" but the picture attached was one that I couldn't place and I guess I was just dying to know who the person in the pic was. 

The joke was on me, though, because I never made it to said person's picture. I never made it past the first. Why? Well, the first picture was of Brad Renfro. Now anyone who knows who that is probably is wondering where exactly The Stir got their hands on a "now" photo given that Brad Renfro has been dead since 2008. Now, don't worry, The Stir didn't stoop to the disgusting low of showing a photo of the corpse of the late actor. Instead, they stooped to the low of showing a picture of Renfro near the end of his life, talking about his state at the time and the referencing his suicide. 

To this I say, WHAT IN THE SERIOUS FUCK THE STIR?!?!?!

Are you shitting me?

Are you really for real right now? 

Did you seriously fucking include a person who committed suicide over five years ago in a "people who look awful now" article?!?!?!

When exactly did all human decency leave the offices at The Stir?!

Who in the fucking hell thinks that this is even a little okay?

Well, Michele Martin is who. The "journalist" who authored this stunning masterpiece. The person who totally thought, "hey, there's nothing wrong with disrespecting someone's memory in this way." The person who thought, "there's no way anyone reading this will be even remotely offended by the utter lack of compassion and simple human decency it takes to know that you DO NOT fucking mock someone that is no longer with us and that had a pain in his or her life that made them reconsider their existence." Michele Martin and anyone up the chain of command that saw and approved of this piece of drivel. 

And a week and a half ago when I read this, I just couldn't keep quiet. Much like I'm not keeping quiet right now. I sent The Stir a complaint. I felt like, for me, it was time to speak up about the things that just didn't seem right to me. Right now, in this country, we are having some real trouble accepting each other. There's a lot of anger and a lot of hate going on right now and even the steps we're taking that move us towards a country of acceptance are causing some real backlash. 

And at a time like this, we need more than ever to realize that picking at each other, belittling each other, tearing each other down -- no one wins there. No one. Why are we even "writing" articles that basically just list people that we're not attracted to? What the fuck is that? We see it all the time: actors with ugly spouses; celebrities that are hideous without makeup; hot A listers that started out homely; 

Seriously, what are we doing to each other? Why has hurting each other become a go-to? It seems like every industry, every company, every organization and so many individuals are making hurting each other a national pastime. 

So, in an attempt to not stay quiet while watching something tragic and hateful was happening in front of me, I sent The Stir that complaint message. I was told, via computer-generated message, that Cafe Mom would be getting back to me in two days. Cafe Mom let me know that if it was a weekend or holiday, it might take longer. I was told to check my junk folder and spam settings. 

I did that. 

I'm still waiting for my reply.

So, instead of doing what I'm assuming The Stir would like me to do and forget about the thing that bothered me so much, I sent them another message. I reminded them of who I was. I let them know when I had written and told them of my pessimistic suspicions that their hope was for me to just forget. And I told them I wouldn't. I told them that I expected a response. I told them that my complaint was real and I wouldn't sit idly by and let them add to the pollution that's plaguing our country. 

And now I'm waiting again. 

We'll see what happens but until the day I either get my response or I decide it's time to send message number three, I've decided that I'm going to fight for us. Fight for us as people. Fight for a life where being yourself doesn't end in an insult. The only thing in life that really matters is how we treat each other. All of our accomplishments, all of our money, all of our possessions and degrees and status symbols, all of our power...it all means nothing if we didn't treat each other with respect. It's not necessary to always agree, it's not a must that we all be alike, and it's not life or death if the things we believe differ. But it's time to really understand that hurting and disrespecting each other is not a constitutional right. And being the person that exists to tear someone else down is only a sign of weakness and fundamental unhappiness with yourself. 

It's time we take back our own lives. It's time we stop letting others get away with this kind of abuse. The courts decided a long time ago that abuse came in multiple forms and it's pretty plainly obvious that we're seeing an insane increase in the amount of abuse and hate we spew at each other. Whether it words out of our mouth, or words on an internet page, that's abuse and that's hate and it's time for that to be unacceptable. 

It's time for someone's hair length or skin color or nationality or muscle tone or gender or who they love or degree of masculinity or femininity or what the fuck ever to only matter to the person it pertains to. 

It's time for a person's opinion to be just that, an opinion. Not a reason to scream obscenities or hate speech or throw a punch or worse. 

There's seriously nothing to be proud of in shaming each other. 

The Stir is my first step in trying to do what I can to speak out against hate. Hate solves nothing. Hate is nothing but a destroyer and if you think it destroys the target of your hate, you're wrong. Hate only destroys the hater.