Independence Day

What exactly does that mean in this year, 2017?

We have spent 240 years, give or take, celebrating our freedoms and independence. We have praised the United States of America for bringing democracy and liberty to more than just our people but to the masses as well. We have sang the words of Francis Scott Key, waved the fabric of Betsy Ross and marched to John Philip Sousa all the while being proud of the example that America sets for the world. 

This year, though, begs a true look back. 

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. 

But for who?

We murdered Native Americans in our quest for our own liberties and freedoms. 

We prospered only with the help of a people who we enslaved and whose ownership we took.

Women were, at best, second-class citizens who were denied so many of the right's their male counterparts enjoyed and considered unalienable. 

We used the idea of God under Manifest Destiny to take what wasn't ours and have been punishing the people we stole from ever since.

Civil rights in this country have not been something given to all of its citizens.

Segregation was supported and people fought to continue it.

Same sex marriages only recently became legal. 

We use cultural caricatures as cartoonish mascots for our sports teams and openly support racism that we call tradition.

Women have still not been given their right to equal pay.

We have begun to hunt down people like prey if we believe they don't belong here and handle them like wild animals loose on our property.

Every year on a holiday we call Thanksgiving we ultimately celebrate our attempt at the genocide of an entire people.

We have a continual debate in this country over half of the population's right to control their own bodies. 

And our police forces are brutally murdering our people because of race. They are shooting first and asking questions never. They are not being held accountable to any reasonable standard and when our nation speaks up, they are silenced. Juries acquit killers with a badge. Citizens choose to stand with the murdering police over their innocent neighbors. 

We have been on a path since 1776 that was always heading towards Donald Trump. We have lived an existence in this country that can only be described as hypocritical. 

Not all of us. 

But it's time to acknowledge our compliance in behavior not fitting with the values we touted as forever being "ours".

It's time to change our future by acknowledging our past.

And it's time to realize and really come to terms with the fact that our past is a lot like our present and if we want to stop this degenerative process and pull ourselves out of the weeds and muck and shit that we find ourselves in, we must #resist. 

For resisting is the only authentically American thing to do. And it's our only option if we want to have actually earned the pride that we burst with in this country.

Vitriol Artist

Shame on everyone who are looking at Democrats and pointing fingers, saying that the vitriol must stop.

YOUR president, Donald J. Trump, is the person to blame for ALL of the current vitriol going on in this country presently.  

He advocates and incites violence with his words and actions. 

BEFORE even running for president, he was recorded bragging about using his power, celebrity and stature to sexual assault women. He publicly abused Rosie O'Donnell for YEARS and YEARS. He would use his position with the Miss Universe Pageant to walk in on unclothed women in dressing rooms.  

DURING his campaign, he called for Hillary Clinton's assassination. He asked a foreign government to hack her campaign. He offered to pay for legal fees for his supporters that committed violent acts upon the opposition. He called an entire country's people (Mexico) rapists and criminals. And he made countless campaign promises that targeted people certain groups of people. 

SINCE being inaugurated he has only continued with this vitriol. He has time and time again tried to instate a travel ban for certain countries based solely on a particular religion. He has continued to put for the idea of building a wall to keep out "certain people" -- an act of vitriol in and of itself. He has continued to publicly disparage Hillary Clinton. He has appointed people to the heads of organizations that are directly opposed to the very organizations itself. He has not spoken up when a supporter of his MURDERED in cold blood people trying to interfere with his hate crime. He tweets on an almost daily basis what can only be labeled as hate-filled vitriol at any one he considers to be an "enemy", be it Hillary Clinton, the mainstream media or anyone -- big or small -- considered a journalist. And for the person who is supposed to be the leader of our ENTIRE country, he has never even ONCE reached out to the people who didn't vote for him to reassure that he would be a leader for all citizens. 

DONALD TRUMP IS THE MOST VIOLENT, HATE-FILLED VITRIOL-ARTIST IN MODERN HISTORY. HE MUST BE STOPPED. AND WE MUST STOP HIM.

Taking Patriotism Back!

I am done with you whiny little bitches. I am done with the idea that conservatives or Republicans have a fucking monopoly on patriotism. I'm fucking taking patriotism back!

You know who isn't a US patriot? Someone who flies the Confederate flag. The Civil War was over 150 years ago and you lost. Let me just write that again because I get the feeling that you fragile fucking snowflakes haven't really accepted this yet. You LOST. Your flag is not our flag. Your leaders are not our leaders. Your statues are not our statues and your monuments are not our fucking monuments. You cower behind the idea that keeping these things is important to our history as a country and that's simply not true. This glorified memorabilia of yours doesn't remember history, it praises the losing side. It praises the things that this country chose to let go of, and rightly so. We have plenty of things in this country that properly remember the history of the time. They're called books. Maybe if you were a little more familiar with art and literature instead of believing that the cultured person's passions and vices are a weakness, you'd realize this. 

You tell liberals on a daily basis that they aren't patriots. You use the fact that they don't believe burning the flag should be illegal as your ammunition. You use the simple man's agenda to mislabel an entire group of people just so that you can steal the idea for yourself and yourself alone. 

Do you truly not understand the ideals this country was created under?

Or are you just still so upset that these ideals mean that you don't have the upper hand that you would spit on the very idea of American values? 

You claim our country is Judeo-Christian. You scream it into microphones and you write it on your Facebook page. You tout it like you fucking understand its origins. You don't. George Orwell came up with that concept (in 1939, long after our founding father's were dead). And it wasn't being used as a fucking compliment. 

You do know that we only added "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954, right?! The founding father's had NOTHING to do with that. This is the original:

"I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

And this was written incidentally by a socialist minister (Francis Bellamy), ya dicks. 

In 1923, it became this: 

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

And it wasn't until our fear of communism came along in 1954 (which none of you people seem to have a problem with anymore) that Eisenhower asked congress to add the "under God" section. 

This country was founded on freedom. It was founded on liberty and justice for fucking ALL motherfuckers. 

Now, that doesn't mean that we haven't had some fairly huge missteps. That doesn't mean that we've always lived these morals the way that we should have. We've made major mistakes. But you trying to make those mistakes our actual value system is hateful, deplorable and embarrassingly ignorant. 

You tell liberals and progressives and that if they don't like this country, they can go ahead and leave it but it seems to me that you're the ones who don't like this country. You're the ones who are trying to change the country to fit your values. You're the ones trying to put your beliefs into the fabric of a country that's already been woven. 

You've added God to our Pledge. You've added God to our money. You've made your religion the backbone of your political arguments. And all the while freedom of religion and separation of church and state is fucking fundamental to the foundation of our country. 

The building blocks of this country are what we and the rest of the world view as true freedom. The ideals of the founding fathers are what we think of when we think of liberty and justice for all. 

The goal of our country should be to continually get closer and closer to those ideals and to use these ideals as a basis for how we respond to our environment. And you, the self-proclaimed patriot, have done absolutely nothing to honor these ideas. The only amendment you seem to care about is the one that gives you guns. 

You're blatantly selfish.

You're paralyzingly ignorant.

You're inexcusably greedy.

You're blindingly hate-filled.

And you're just plain wrong. 

You shout about fucking patriotism while you fly flags that are the polar opposite of patriotic. You holler until your voice is hoarse about a liberal or progressive agenda being unAmerican while you throw temper tantrums over the removal of your monuments and statues that celebrate unAmerican values.

Do you even understand what it means to be a true American? Can you even comprehend the real values that built this country?

You want to make America great again by abandoning American values, you stupid, stupid fuck. 

We're done listening to the white noise of a people (yes, pun very much intended) who can't even begin to understand the irony of their backwards, contradictory ideas. You think there's any pride to be taken in being a fucking fool? You think there's merit in being willfully ignorant and stubbornly stupid? You think that's American?

Cause it's not.

America is about freedom. America is about freedom and liberty and fucking justice. America is about equality and giving a finger to authority figures who try to take all of these things away from us. 

And that includes the police. A true American believes that just because someone wears a uniform and a badge doesn't mean that they get to modify our ideals to their liking. It doesn't mean they get to shoot first and ask questions later. That is NOT their job. Their job is, quite plainly, to SERVE and PROTECT all people, not just themselves. And if they don't like that, they don't have to do that job. Sure, Blue Lives Matter but not any more than any other fucking life in this country and making it seem like they are is decidedly unAmerican. 

Freedom for all. Justice for everyone. Liberty for the masses. And equality for all our people indiscriminately. THAT is America.

And if you don't like it...if you can't be the patriot that our country deserves...YOU, you confederate flag waving, Jim Crow-loving motherfucker, can get the fuck out.

The Bottle of Zima with Two Names

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away and not so different from ours, lived a lonely bottle of Zima. This bottle of Zima had no name, for bottles of Zima were not different enough to need names. Zima thought he had a good life, for a Zima, and couldn't quite understand why he was so lonely. He was surrounded by friends, other similar bottles of Zima, and his friends all said they looked up to him. He took care of himself, making sure his bottle was always polished perfectly, so that the clean lines of his hard body were prominent. He really thought he was one of the more attractive bottles of Zima but he still felt empty, somehow.

One day the bottle of Zima was walking through the woods when one particular tree caught his eye. It was tall and gray. He thought it might have been a Birch but he really couldn't be sure. He was a bottle of Zima, after all. The bottle of Zima walked up to the tree and studied it. It's roots were firmly held in the ground, having spent countless generations lasting the inconsistent and fierce, and sometimes even baffling, weather. He was mesmerized by how strong the tree was despite the fact that it still seemed so delicate.

The bottle of Zima moved forward to touch the strong and powerful tree and as he did, a fairy burst from its smooth, sturdy bark. The fairy's wings flapped quickly and effortlessly, shimmering in the sunbeam that had suddenly appeared in the forest. The fairy turned quickly, looking for the specimen that had brought her from the safety of her home in the hollow. The fairies of the wood were incredibly powerful but often misunderstood. They came in many shades and made their homes in many different habitats but all had the magical powers of compassion, empathy and justice and they all had the abilities to make the unimaginable imaginable. Because of this, they had been forced into hiding long ago, knowing that was the only way they'd be able to continue their work.

When the fairy's gaze landed on the bottle of Zima, her head tilted and her eyes scanned over the figure in front of her. The bottle couldn't move under her scrutiny, he could feel her assessing him, seeing deep down to his core.

The fairy jolted suddenly and flew in a circle around the bottle, glittery dust following in her wake, slowly dancing in the air. She returned to where she started, doing two swift flips before stopping and hovering in front of him.

"What is it that you seek?"

"I don't think that I should be a bottle of Zima."

"No?"

"No."

"And why is that," asked the fairy.

"I'm much stronger than the other bottles of Zima and much more attractive, everyone says so. And I should be, I spend a lot of time making sure I look good. I make all of the right choices and I think all the right thoughts."

"You do," asked the fairy.

"I do."

"And you think this means that you aren't supposed to be a bottle of Zima?"

"Yes, I'm better than that. I'm better than just being an anonymous bottle of Zima. And I'm tired of not having a first name. I want a name. I deserve a name. Two names, even!"

The fairy looked at the bottle and circled once more
Dipping and flipping and beginning to soar.
She glided around and sprinkled her gold
and paused at her subject before she foretold:

"Whatever I do, you will always be you.
Whether a bottle of Zima or something totally new."

The bottle understood, that was fine with him.
He was too good to be Zima, this wasn't a whim.
Once the fairy was sure it was the right thing to do,
she took out her wand and tapped his cap, one...two.

A bomb of tiny stars surrounded the bottle, swirling quickly and kicking up the wind around him. He could feel an immeasurable pressure before the sky changed around him and the wood was no longer a wood.

The nature had turned to stone and cement. The crisp, clear environment had turned thick with hot air. What was once his home, was now far away. He was in his new home. The home he had asked for. The home he felt he deserved.

And that, boys and girls, is the story of how Paul Ryan became Speaker of the House.

Building His Army

This notice went out to Trump supporters along with an accountability survey of the mainstream media.

THIS should worry us all.

"...I don't trust the media..."

"...you -- the American people -- are our last line of defense against the media's hit jobs."

"You...greatest asset in helping our movement deliver truth to the American people."

This is POTUS45 setting up his army. An army far more worrisome than one under the guise of the military. An army with more influence, more motivation and way more anger. This is Trump assembling his troops of propaganda warriors, yellow journalist citizens and soldiers of alternative truth.

We've seen this before. We've seen this very clearly in history.

And his warriors are more than ready to fight. We've all seen them. On Facebook. On Twitter. In our families. I've seen people who are fighting for the right's of all humans being publicly torn apart by family members. I've watched as people who have chosen to build their government on a platform of hatred, violence, isolation and bullying screech at those trying to stop the madness.

The hypocrisy is palpable.

And if that's what's happening out in the open, I can only imagine what's happening behind closed doors -- where the bullies really come out to play. All of us who are witness or recipient to this need to be very aware that we've now reached the next level of this war we're in.

They are officially coming for us.

They'll say that this is paranoia. They'll say it's a scare tactic. They'll say it's fear mongering.

We all know it's not. We mustn't fall victim to these ploys. We mustn't allow his army of hate to undermine what we know is true.

Our country and it's values are at stake.

The people we share this Earth with are in danger. People in this country. People outside of this country. Us.

POTUS45 is working to remove the facts from our daily lives. He's looking to destroy what we've spent centuries building. He's looking to take us back to the days where one type of person has more power, more rights and more freedoms than the others.

We cannot stop our fight.

We cannot go silent just because we become targets.

We cannot allow things that make our blood go cold to halt our progress.

If I go down during this fight, I know that I will have given myself to the greater good. If I lose people because I won't get off the front lines, then so be it. I answer to myself and to what my soul and conscience know is right. You can call that God or whatever word or name is most comfortable for you. The moniker doesn't matter to me -- only the love and acceptance that I find there does.

"But I can't do it alone. I need you by my side, supporting our message and doing your part to get the truth to the American voter."

His call to action for his followers is a call to action for us as well. We must stand up to hate and bigotry. We must stand up to racism and bullying. We must stand up to sexism and every other -ism out there that works to make perfectly good people out to be less than their fellow human beings.

No matter who tries to stop us -- be it a President, a soldier, a stranger or family.

Thankful

There's been a lot of negativity in our country during this election cycle and now during the start of this presidency. And let's face it, the negativity has just been more publicized, it's not new.

It's been with us forever.

It's plagued us.

We've plagued ourselves.

But it's time to put that behind us.

Not forget.

Not at all. There's been far too much forgetting in this country. Far too much.

But it's time for us to turn that negativity into growth. It's time for us to use it. Because if we don't, then we're just going to let it destroy us. And I don't plan on letting that happen, at least not without a fight.

And it seems like there are a lot of other people out there that think the same thing. And that gives me hope. A lot of it. Because it reminds me at a time when everyday brings more and more vulnerability, that the beautiful ideas our country is supposed to stand for are important priorities for so many of the people that stand beside me.

It's nice to know that as powerful as the word "racist" is, the word "resist" eclipses it's power. It's bolstering to know that as intimidating as the word "sexist" is, the word "persist" is going to define this time in history much, much more. We've turned words that were spat out with condescension and hate into a rallying cry that we shouted from rooftops.

One by one, I saw my American brothers and sisters become "nasty women" and "bad hombres". One by one I saw people, of all colors, all creeds, all genders and identities embrace each other and say, "you're safe", "I'll fight for you" and "love trumps hate".

I saw people join hands with each other. I saw people hit the streets in droves. I saw people standing up for themselves and standing up for the people around them. And that's something to have pride in. That's something to remember when the negativity and hate is weighing us down and making it hard to hold your head up.

#blacklivesmatter

#NoBanNoWall

#NoH8

#NoDAPL

These ideas have ensconced us. They've immersed. They make me glad for the concept of hashtags.

Climate Change Matters

Science is Not a Conspiracy

The Affordable Care Act

The EPA

The Department of Education

These issues and areas have become priorities. They've stopped being punchlines in a political agenda and have started to turn into pieces of our lives.

And you know what, they should be.

It's awesome to just go about everyday and get our Starbucks and go to work, pin items on Pinterest, heat up leftovers and go on Facebook to share pictures of our kids or pets or dinner. That's great.

But that's a life half-lived.

Our planet needs to be important to us.

Our children's education (whether we have them or not) needs to be important to us.

Curing disease needs to be important to us.

Human rights, ours and those of every human, need to be important to us.

We need to stop judging each other.

We need to stop hating each other.

We need to realize that coming together and supporting each other is the only way to truly create something to be proud of.

Having a gold toilet? I'm sorry, that's not something to be proud of. That's not. Sure, working hard to be able to afford a gold toilet may make you proud but the toilet itself is just a toilet, whatever it's made of. Helping yourself or someone else get access to water, plumbing and proper sanitation -- that right there -- that is something to be proud of.

It's not honorable to lead an easy life.

It's not honorable to lead a selfish life.

And as I look around, no matter where I am -- in the real world or online -- I see honor in so many places. I see good, honorable people -- people so I'm proud to walk this land with -- standing up for themselves and standing up for their neighbors, saying...

"I matter."

"You matter."

"He matters."

"She matters."

"They matter."

I see people stopping and saying "this doesn't sound right", "I'm not sure about this", "this doesn't feel good".

Those words, that questioning, it's beautiful. Even if you thought that you would feel differently, if it turns out that you just can't bring yourself to hate people the way you're being asked to -- that's beautiful.

Please, see the beauty in that.

See that it's never too late to change your mind.

See that there is amazing power in the courage and bravery to change your mind, to change your heart.

Amidst my anger and fear, I'm beginning to be thankful. Thankful that God thought to put me on the earth during a time where I could witness this love bringing us together; this love and respect making us stand up and fight, for ourselves and for each other. I'm thankful that God has given me the chance to do what's right, to be actively involved in my life, to care about more than just my own, small piece of this place.

And I'm thankful that God has given me the chance to participate with and witness so many honorable people that I proudly call brother and sister.

Thank you all for giving me something to strive for...to give me something to aspire to.

Grandma Bernice: The New Propaganda Machine

In this age of the Internet and social media, propaganda is not just the work and ammunition of governments and political parties anymore. Any run of the mill human being can now join in on the fun of spreading lies and misinformation just like their favorite underhanded politicians.

In just one afternoon on Facebook, you can see dozens of articles, click bait and videos promoting false angles on news stories in addition to the straight-out lies being floated around.

And even though we may see that these stories have originated from websites or organizations that are fueled by alternative facts, also known as fiction, most of the time we see them because a friend or family member has shared them.

We are assaulted with this propaganda every day of our lives and multiple times a day at that, either from some random trashy pop-up or a hate-filed meme that Grandma Bernice shared implying that illegal immigrants collect welfare and she can solve the problem by typing "Amen".

This new society of ours is moving and expanding at such a rate that we're not even aware that we've become the yellow journalists of the past. Who needs unethical reporters when our own citizens can spread gross exaggeration much easier?

When @POTUS45 said live and on the air that Chicago was worse than Afghanistan and that people were being shot left and right, real reporters across the country did their homework and checked his false figures. Real journalists and writers began immediately shedding light on his lies while the yellow journalists out in the Interwebs began to spread his disease of misinformation like wildfire.

Sure, a number of "real" news outlets have stoked the flames but even those are finding it hard to completely ignore the lies coming out of our current administration. But have the great citizens of our country who follow our @POTUS so blindly been listening to these organizations that they once loved to quote outright?

No. No, they're not.

They've been ignoring anyone with a degree and the ability to put two words together and opted instead to become the wheels of their own propaganda machine. They latch on to anyone they can find with a matching opinion and a loud enough voice and then throw their false facts, their exaggerated claims without one speck of research behind them and their righteous indignation to the masses.

And we of the world are their victims.

Year Forty and One

So, I've been forty-one for a couple of months now and I would've thought that I'd hate it. And don't get me wrong, I don't love the number, but now that I'm realizing how much of my response to that number comes from what men have told me (men who have decided that they're still sexually spry at the age of 80), I'm a little like "fuck you, whatever".

Basically, me at 41 is pretty unapologetic about who I am.

And that has honestly changed my entire life.

Sure, I'm still married and pretty much all the vital stats are the same but the growth I've had in the past year has been monumental.

Because of health issues, I've spent three-fourths of the past year living with both my new husband and my mom. At different points I've wanted to strangle them both (not really) and I have it on pretty good authority that the feeling is mutual.

But the things I've come to understand have been eye-opening. Things about myself, things about my loved ones, things about the world.

I'd feel, almost, like a whole new person if the woman I am now didn't feel so familiar in so very many ways.

I'll tell you one thing, I like her. I like her a lot.

She speaks her mind. And she's working on not caring about what other people think.

She puts actions to her words. And she tries to really accomplish the goals she's set for herself, not just play at it.

She finds the idea of the unknown more exciting now instead of totally scary. And she's pretty fucking psyched about what the future holds for her.

But enough of the third person.

There are pieces of my life that fit now in a way that they've never fit before. Some of that has to do with me and some of it just has to do with timing and the universe.

I guess in year forty and one I'm realizing that nothing comes before it's due. And some lessons just aren't ready for us to learn from them until the exact right moment in time.

And most importantly, we have to really stand behind what we say. We can't make exceptions about what we believe just because our feelings are hurt. And we have to try and use compassion whenever we can, especially with those we love. Because love, understanding and forgiveness are the greatest gifts we as humans have to give.

And life is truly better for everyone when these things are incorporated into our daily lives.

I'm expecting this next year to bring me more knowledge and growth than the last and I'm kind of hoping that it's like this for a while. I have a hunch it may be. This older and wiser duo they've been advertising is pretty rad. They should add badass to it, though. Cause I'm definitely more of a badass at age 41 than I ever have been before.

I think, maybe, the world just wasn't ready for this me yet.

One Woman's Message to Donald Trump

Don't be afraid of Alec Baldwin. Or Kate McKinnon. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Don't be afraid of Hillary Clinton. Or Bernie Sanders. Or Elizabeth Warren.

Don't be afraid of Malcolm Turnbull. Or the Mexicans. Or even ISIS.

Be afraid of me, Donald.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm a 41 year old college-educated white woman.

I was raised Roman Catholic.

I went K-12 in our public schools and I went to a private Marianist university.

I am married.

I didn't vote for you.

You cannot con me.

I don't buy into your branding of the world.

I am a human.

I am a thinker.

I believe in the power of good over evil.

And I was born to take you down, Donald.

This isn't some threat of violence -- I don't deal in the garbage that you do. This is merely a promise to safeguard my country and the people in it.

You, Donald, are a danger to my country. You are my country's greatest terrorist threat. And I will not sit idly by as you continue to destroy the freedoms that my country is supposed to strive for.

I may only be one but there are millions of me.

You have been put on notice.

I am Tom Petty. I am a Heartbreaker.

Well, I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down

No I'll stand my ground
Won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground

And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Well I know what's right
I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground
And I won't back down

To anyone saying that people speaking out against Donald Trump need to "drop it", "get over it", "let it go", "give it up", "quit being little snowflakes" or whatever else insulting and bullying lingo they'd like to use, I say: NO. 

I'm not a fucking snowflake. I'm a human being. I'm a human being that wants equal rights for myself and for all the other human beings. And I'm not going to shut up until we get them. 

You want to ridicul us by calling us snowflakes when you're the overly-delicate motherfuckers who get vindictive on a human rights level when more than just Christian holidays are acknowledged? You call us babies when you voted for a fucking racist, sexist BIGOT because you were mad that the job force was being comprised by more than just white males? 

I'm not a fucking snowflake and I'm not gonna "let it go" as you so elequaintly put it. I'm going to fight. I'm going to fight for the rest of my life, if that's what it takes. Because it's my goddamn duty. Because the gift of life I was given isn't something that I think is only deserved by myself and people who look like me. 

I am not a snowflake. I am a human. And I defend the equal rights of other humans.

With pride. With dignity. And with the knowledge that I am not just thinking of myself and my needs but the needs of all those living on the Earth with me. 

How My Mom Casually Taught Me to be a Feminist

It's not hard for me to see how I became so demanding about my basic equal rights as a woman. The movies and TV shows that my mother surrounded me with as I grew up speaks volumes about the woman she is and feminist beliefs she taught me.

My mother LOVES Mary Tyler Moore. Mary Tyler Moore (the show) was my mom's favorite but the woman herself could do no wrong. I knew at a very young age that she was the first woman to wear pants on prime time television (one per episode until she started sneaking them in more often) on The Dick Van Dyke Show. I knew that the MTM logo I saw so many times on TV was her and I knew how much she dedicated of herself to (what was then known as) Juvenile Diabetes.

Carol Burnett constantly tugged her ear on our TV and I knew those Golden Girls before they were golden. I knew Bea Arthur as Maude was the first woman on prime time to get an abortion and started out by arguing with Archie. And I knew that when Betty White was Sue Ann Nivens to Mary Tyler Moore's Mary Richards that she was waaay more like Blanche Devereaux than Rose Nylund.

Jane Curtain and Gilda Radner were hilarious and Goldie Hawn was a triumph. I saw her shake her groove thang on Laugh-In reruns and heard the term rape for the first time in a movie while watching Foul Play with my mom.

The movie 9 to 5 was watched every chance gotten. My best friend and I could quote that thing by the time we hit double digits and whenever I watch the movie with a new person I always share with them my mom's favorite scene (the hospital scene and corpse escape).

If I had to take a guess, I'd say my mother's favorite playwright is Neil Simon. When most people think of him, they think The Odd Couple (if they realize he wrote that). He's written countless amazing plays and movies but my mother's favorites have always been the ones starring Marsha Mason. Max Dugan Returns, The Goodbye Girl, Chapter Two. Neil Simon could write one hell of a strong woman. She was funny, strong, real, smart, silly, vulnerable and brave. She handled the shit life threw at her. And she always held her head up.

Gidget was on A LOT. The movies (although my mom only really liked the original) and the TV show. I knew both Sandra Dee and Sally Field as our favorite girl hero. I learned at an early age that it was okay to be smart and headstrong and stubborn. It was okay to try and do the things that the boys do. I learned that being myself was more important than fitting in and that a boy worth liking was one that liked me for me.

And no one, NO ONE, was on our TV screens when my mom was in charge of the remote more than Doris Day. And if you don't think that Doris Day was a goddamn feminist then you haven't ever seen one of her movies. She did everything. She had a career. She had a love life, even if she was single. She was smart. She had her own money. She was stubborn. She stood her ground. She said what she thought even if it took guts to do it. She wasn't afraid to argue and she was damn good at it. And she did it during a time where that was even a bigger deal than it is today.

I got lucky. My parents taught me how to be a strong person. They taught me how to treat others and they taught me the values that I cherish today. The values that I write about a lot in this blog. My mom, though, she taught me how to be a feminist. She taught me what it meant to be a strong, independent woman. So it's no surprise that when my high school did a production of Arsenic and Old Lace and they opened up male roles to females because the play was so male-heavy, I expressed how cool I thought that was. A male classmate of mine overheard and asked me if I was some kind of feminist. When I went home and told my mom about the conversation that night, know what she said?

"Did you tell him, 'Yeah, why aren't you?'"

I mean, how cool is my mom?

For the Record...

Enough asking questions. Enough using logic. Enough putting together clear, thought-out arguments.

I have one thing to say to Donald Trump and the Trump Administration. It's a message from a lot of us but if you're reading this, go ahead and put my name on your list to take the blame for it...

We know what you're about.

We know what you're doing.

You don't care about fake news or alternative facts. You don't care about statistics or numbers or demographics.

You care about you.

You are an egotist, a narcissist and a sociopath. You are a megalomaniac. You will say anything, do anything, pretend to be anything you need to in order to get what you want.

And what you want is power and money.

There's no point debating you.

There's no point trying to prove you're wrong.

The people with compassion and sense already know the truth. The people who truly believe in doing what's right know the truth.

You can never be convinced because you have no opinion. You only have greed.

You have no logic or truth or reason. You have no spine or backbone. You only have you. You only have you and greed and desperation for power.

Those people who continue to be loyal, whether in your administration or your inner circle or your fandom, have nothing on us.

We, the many. We, the people. We have everything on our side, while you have nothing. You may sit in your Oval Office, you may tweet as @POTUS on your unsecured phone, you may cut us off and cancel our rights but we are still more powerful than you will ever be.

We are the thinkers.

We are the seers.

We are the lovers.

We are the dreamers.

We are what make the tides turn and the wind howl. We will forever have the power because we are the truth and the light. Wherever you bring darkness, whether in intellect or spirit, we will be there with the flame of enlightenment.

Mouthpiece of Terror

Dear Press Secretary and all-around Mouthpiece of Terror Sean Spicer,

I hope you know what you're doing. Seriously. I'm not joking or trying to tease you.

I hope you didn't take this job lightly.

I hope you didn't think that taking this job was going to bring you and your family, for generations, anything other than pain, misery and shame.

As someone who makes their living repeating other people's words, do you agree with the direction our country is headed in? Do you? And with the same level of vehemence that our president and his cronies do? Because, honestly, you better.

In the years and lifetimes to come, your part in this war on equality will not go silent. Your participation in the destruction of our American ethics and values will forever tarnish your legacy and the legacy of your entire family.

If you have kids, I hope they agree with what you're doing because you are ruining their lives. You are ruining the lives of future family members you haven't and will never meet. The freedom and anonymity that they've come to cherish will never be the same again.

Adolf Hitler isn't the only evil moniker that survived World War II. He may have led the movement but he is nowhere near the only criminal. And Adolf Hitler isn't the only name spat out with disgust today.

Your name will join that list.

You have put your face and your mouth at the forefront of this new brand of very old terror. It will never come clean again.

Adolf Hitler
Heinrich Himmler
Joseph Goebbels
Reinhard Heydrich
Josef Mengele
Adolf Eichmann
Hermann Göring
Otto Strasser

Are you ready for your name to join?

Donald Trump
Steve Bannon
Sean Spicer

How's it looking?

A little black and white photo of you with your mouth open and booming words of hate flowing like charcoal out of your mouth. Can you picture it? I can. We all can.

And soon, we won't need to. Text books, history anthologies, Wikipedia...it'll all do the work for us.

Your megaphone of terror will be known the world over if you continue to do "your job". You will be forever synonymous with propaganda, hate and the destruction of something that was once a beautiful idea.

You will be known as a grim reaper, a death eater, a dementor. Fairy tales will be written with you in mind, trying to teach our children about the horrors of the world and how to stop them while they're still young enough to be kept safe from filling their heads with the specifics of the truth.

You are a mouthpiece of terror. Your words bring hate and violence. They'll bring death and destruction...


...to the good people of the world as well as to your family's name and legacy.

Gray Gardens

Everyday I wake up in Donald Trump's America and prepare myself for the news. It takes all of my courage and backbone to move forward through my anxiety and depression and face the day. Being on the West Coast means that by the time I get up, our President has already done two, maybe three, heartbreaking and horrifying things.

I feel like I've got my own armor now. I put it on as soon as my foot hits the floor of the bedroom and I don't take it off until I'm back in bed at night.

The world looks different now. Being outside, things have changed. Everything looks grayer. Things seem bleaker. The air is colder.

The reality of living this life is so much worse than the awful I thought it would be. As soon as the tide turns, everything becomes desolate. I don't have to wait to see the gestapo in order to feel them coming.

This is an America that I never thought I'd live in but I realize now that was naive. I realize now that I was seeing the world through my own blinders, my own white privilege. Of course we wound up here, how could we not? The freedom that I've so easily taken for granted hasn't ever been given out to all of our people. And our own hypocrisy is coming for us now.

It's still not fair though. Not all of us deserve this fate. There are people who have been standing up for themselves and for others for lifetimes and the air is just as polluted for them as it is for me.

There's a part of me that knows the happiness I felt just last year is something that I'll never get back again. You can't reach this stage and go back, ever. Once you see this version of the world, you never come clean. And knowing that I could've, I should've, done more in my lifetime is something that I'll never forget.

I look around and things that are supposed to be green are gray. Skies that are supposed to be sunny, are overcast. Clouds that are supposed to be light are dark. Our world has become a gray garden. The colors on our TVs are so much brighter now than the ones outside.

In order to see the best of humanity we find we have to keep staring at screens, desperate to find voices as vivid as our own and hearts that still know the brilliance and beauty of color.

Black Lives Matter

Women's Rights are Human Rights

Today, I am Muslim

Science is Real

No Human is Illegal

Love is Love

Brown Lives Matter

No H8

Kindness is Everything

#NoBanNoWall

Climate Change is not a Conspiracy

Let Freedom Ring

Give Peace a Chance

New America

Everyday I watch as my country turns into Nazi Germany.

Say that I'm exaggerating. Say that I'm taking my dislike and distrust of Donald Trump to new heights. Say that I'm employing scary tactics.

None of that surprises me. And none of it stops my thoughts, either.

Why?

Because the same thoughts and feelings were told to those people in Nazi Germany that were watching in horror as Hitler took hold and destroyed their country.

Many would say that Germany still hasn't recovered from it.

Because no matter the state of things inside that now-unified country, the rest of the world still uses them as the ultimate warning. We still use them as an example for the absolute worst that can come out of the world. We still vilify them. We still recoil from their history. And we still have trust issues.

And now this is where we, in the US, are.

The country that has this as their Preamble to the Constitution...

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

...is now the country that has done all of this in the FIRST week of Trump's presidency.

• Lied about the size of his inaugural crowd...for days...as if that was important and deserved this time and concentration.
• Put in the executive order to repealed the Affordable Care Act without any alternative for the millions of Americans that will be without health insurance. 
• Put down the Women's March and dismissed the voices being heard there.
• Reinstated the Global Gag order for scientists and the EPA, trying to silence the voice of truth and keep educated people from sharing their knowledge.
• Issued an executive order to allow the construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline through the Standing Rock Reservation.
• Began funneling federal resources to build a wall on the border with Mexico. Not only is he instituting his isolationist agenda but the wall is now being paid for by American tax payer money and his only plan for getting the money back is to tax Mexican imports, that would essentially still mean the American taxpayers would be funding the wall. 
• During his first televised interview, said that he supported torture and believed in its effectiveness. This includes being specific about being pro-waterboarding.
• He also said in this interview that Chicago was worse than Afghanistan. That people were being killed right and left. And that if Chicago didn't do something about it, he'd "send in the Feds".
• In this same interview where he stated that Chicago was worse than Afghanistan, he also said that no place was worse than the Middle East. He said that people were being beheaded all the time there. Christians and even Muslims, all kinds of people, were having their heads chopped off all the time.
• Declared that Sanctuary Cities would not be tolerated, prompting Miami to be the first to fall to Trump's demands and instruct its police force to not protect illegal immigrants. 
• Declared war on the media.
• Threatened to publish a paper listing the names of illegal immigrants and the crimes they have "committed", taking an actual page out of the Nazi instruction manual. 
• Sent his VP to the March for Life, the first sitting VP to attend, and continuing to push the sentiment that this is a Pro-Life presidency.
• Continues to obsess over his incorrect belief that he won the popular vote (that he lost by over 3 million people) and insists that this voter fraud is due to illegal immigrants voting. Will continue to spend the government's time and resources research this, despite the fact that it doesn't matter. 
• Ban refuges and issuing visas to people from several Muslim-majority nations. 

And this is not a complete list. This is just the overview. 

This list is our country now. This is the New America.

Unless we stop it.

Enough

I'd like to take a moment to address Senator Chris McDaniel and his recent FaceBook post. After much thought, I've decided to do it with the same condescension that Senator McDaniel employed since I feel it must be the tone and attitude he understands best.




Well done, Senator McDaniel. You must be so proud of the fact that you've conveniently missed the point of a march that you couldn't be bothered to understand in the first place. It's such a good feeling when we hit one of our goals and can swipe another task off our list and you've done just that.

Go on, pat yourself on the back.

And now, tell me some more about how I desperately and violently want to end the lives of the unborn and just be able to put the abortion on my SNAP card! Cause that's totally my motivation and the motivation of all the women at the march. Hell, if I could eat the young afterwards that'd be even better. Nutrition, and all.

Please, tell me more about how all I want are free abortions and free birth control and free cell phones.

Show me more evidence about how once those embryos become human beings you couldn't give a fuck about them. Please, continue to go on and show me more proof that once a baby is born you not only won't do anything to ensure that baby has equal right and an equal voice but that when that human being is speaking, you won't even have the decency and respect to listen to what it's saying.

And please, point out to me that some of those babies would be little girls. Please assume that I care more about girls than I do boys. Please assume that your little sarcastic comment means more about me than it does about you. Because buddy, the fact that you think women standing up for themselves is fucking selfish is the most hypocritical thing I've ever heard.

Why is our standing up for ourselves somehow offensive to you? Is it because our standing up for ourselves is getting in the way of you walking all over us, Senator McDaniel?

Let me ask you a question...would you be more comfortable with abortion if we could prove the gender beforehand? Cause you don't seem to give a fuck about women anyway. How about black or brown babies? Maybe we just don't abort the little white boy babies, would that work for you?

Because those are the only fucking people you seem to have a desire to build a country around.

Do you give even the littlest shit about all the rape or incest victims who you don't want to be able to have an abortion? Tell me, would it be okay for them to have the procedure as long as they rehashed every detail about their attack so that you could have the most vivid picture you can get and they can spiral into self-destruction? Would it be okay then? How about if they get their mom (cause they're 15) to drive them out of state to the closest place that would provide them the procedure? Would it be okay, then? How about if they had to pay for it themselves. I mean, the kid was already raped. And now, she has to relive every detail for your benefit...to prove that what she says is true. And to top it all off, even though a crime was committed against her, even though her body was physically violated, even though she is a little girl on the verge of losing her entire self-worth and esteem, NOW her family has to somehow find a way to pay for the procedure outright because you don't believe that their insurer should cover anything...because her RAPE is now entirely her responsibility.

You must sleep so soundly at night knowing that you've stopped these godless heathens from committing the ultimate crime.

BECAUSE THE ONLY CRIME YOU SEEM TO SEE IN THAT SCENARIO IS THE KILLING OF AN UNBORN BABY.

And now seems like a good time to talk about this whole "killing the lives of the unborn" issue. In this country, science is supposed to matter more than religion, in terms of our government. Know how I know that? It's called freedom of religion and separation of church and state.

Now...

If your reasoning for calling an embryo "the unborn" has anything to do with your faith, religion or spirituality it DOES NOT belong in our governing body.

You can wish it did all you want. But it doesn't. That's against the law.

You canNOT force me or anyone else to take on your belief system and live our lives according to what you dictate. That violates separation of church and state and is therefore unconstitutional.

So now that I've given you, a senator, a quick yet desperately needed lesson in American civics and government, let me also give you the other lesson you so badly need.

A lesson in compassion.

You, sir, talked to me as if you knew me. You assumed the worst because that was most helpful and convenient to you and then you mocked me. I don't want anything other than what you, a man, have. I want to be treated equally. I want to know if someone rapes me and they're convicted in a court of law, that the judge won't give him a light sentence so as not to ruin his life...meanwhile he's already ruined mine. I want to know that my medical issues are just as important as yours. If I need a procedure to save my life, I'd like to know that I can have it. I'd like to know that my insurance would cover my life-saving procedure that involves my lady parts the same way they would cover a life-saving procedure involving any other organs. I want to be paid the same as a man with equal education doing the same job as I am. I want to not be mocked and laughed at when I stand up for myself.

I want the same level of compassion that you give so willingly to "the unborn". You know, if that's not too much trouble, Senator.

P.S. I hope you're enjoying your free, taxpayer-provided, all-inclusive, super awesome health insurance that no one else in the country gets. You're welcome.

Our New Normal

Everyday when we wake up in Trump's America, there's something new and horrifying to behold. It's overwhelming. I'm sure it's meant to be.

Scientists are on lock-down.

The EPA isn't allowed to speak.

The Wall is beginning.

The Affordable Care Act is being repealed without an alternative.

Medicare and Medicaid are under attack.

A group of men met inside a woman's uterus to ban insurance use for procedures she might desperately need.

We're being bombarded.

Trump is advertising his hotel in DC.

His staff have private RNC emails and he tweets from on unsecured Android phone.

Paul Ryan declared this to be a pro-life congress, essentially throwing it's unconstitutionality in our faces and ignoring the health of more than half of the country's population.

Nothing that's happening right now is okay. Our country and it's people are being drowned as our rights and freedoms are taken away. If you don't see this as a war on the truth, you're not looking hard enough. Facts are becoming illegal. Truth is becoming a felony. And soon we, the people, will be the detainees in Gitmo. We will be shut out from reality and the rest of the world. We will be isolated and vulnerable, attacked by our own government and being weakened by a life without educational nutrition. Our public schools are in imminent danger and that's exactly as they'd like it.

The dumber we are, the more they'll get ahead. The more ignorant we are, the more power they'll gain. And the more passive we are, the more we will become a country of hate and evil: a country at war with its purpose.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, must move forward without hypocrisy and hold our government and our country responsible for the tenants that we are supposed to hold dear.

My Apology

This blog is just for me. It's not about anybody else. These are my feelings about myself and I need to own them.

I need to apologize.

I need to apologize to all my human brothers and sisters for letting you down.

I just turned 41.

I wasn't blind. I wasn't unaware. I didn't think Donald Trump would win but I also knew it'd be a close race.

I knew what our country was like.

And I failed you.

I failed us.

It was like I was hoping that if I behaved like everyone was equal then that would be reality. Well, I guess what I really meant was then that would be my reality, emphasis on the "my".

I'm planning on going to the Women's March on Portland the day after the inauguration. It will be my first march but it shouldn't be.

I should've been marching for years.

I may have been voicing my opinions all my life but I should've been speaking louder. I should've been using a megaphone or a microphone or the writing skills that God gave me. I spent a long time making things up to go on the page and I still love that. But, my own thoughts and my own words and my own reality should've accompanied it. My own hopes for our universe. My own hopes for our country.

I've been selfish.

I've written about what's most interested me.

Mostly fiction. Mostly funny. A little smut.

But years without anything meaningful.

I've tried to give people a means of escape and that has real merit. But I needed to do more than that.

I needed to try and help make the world something that people needed to escape from a little less.

I've always believed that was my purpose but I stopped looking for it at some point and started just thinking of myself.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry that I was so selfish for so long. I'm so sorry that I lived in a world that was so one-sided and I didn't really do anything to stop it.

I'm so ashamed.

Every time I write a blog or work on my book or write something down about how we can't live like this anymore, I can feel my stomach roll a little and know that my nausea is my own shame.

I can't imagine being on the other side of privilege and not being at least a little pissed that it took so many people so long so say something. And that gives me shame as well.

I wonder if I've hurt my friends that aren't white with my silence. And I know if I have, it's totally justified.

And I apologize. I wish I could apologize everyday for my silence. I've thought of you as my friends. I've cared so much for you. And I've let you down. Not because I'm so powerful that I alone can change the world but because it's the right thing to do and I haven't been doing it.

I can't let this shame stop me now, though. It may make me feel like a partial hypocrite for taking so long to do the right thing but I'd rather do the right thing now even if it means I feel like shit about my past inactivity than only feeling better because I'm ignoring my own truth.

It's officially after midnight, so I can say:

Today is a new day.

Today, I am a new me.

Today and going forward, I pledge to be the me that uses her voice for change. I pledge to be the me that is brave enough to speak up for what she believes is right. I pledge to be someone I'm really proud of and I pledge to have higher standards for what makes me proud.