Black and Blue

My blog post today is literally about one thing and one thing only. There's nothing else besides this I want to address and I want it to be very clear that there is only one point I'm wanting to make.

I've seen a number of good people post things since our latest wave of police violence against people of color that - in a nutshell - says that when you run away from the police, you should be prepared to die. 

Because if you don't comply with law enforcement, you deserve whatever happens to you.

Here is the one thing I would like to say to that.

I understand what you think it is you're saying. I understand that when someone runs from law enforcement, the natural and logical assumption by those police and/or other enforcement personnel is that you've done something wrong and that they better catch your ass quick.

I really do understand that. 

Aside from actually knowing good, honest people in uniform, I also just get how A + B = C. 

This is the perspective I would like to share with you, though. And I'm hoping that because you're logical and caring people that you'll give my point of view a chance before dismissing it outright. 

People of color have been discriminated against a lot. Flamingly violent racists aside, we can agree on that I think. And in addition to that discrimination being your general institutional and establishment racism (racism based on policy and practice), it has also come in the form of violence. 

A lot of violence.

And it's uncomfortable but I think we really need to face that right now.

People of color have had violence practiced upon them solely for their race for hundreds of years. In order to bring them to this country, we chained them. We chained them to boats. We chained them to each other. We put men and women who weren't criminals in chains and then forced them to do our work for us. 

Those people were beaten on a daily basis, perhaps even an hourly basis. Because of their skin. They were whipped. Because of their skin. They were raped. A lot. Because of their skin. They were tortured. Because of their skin. 

People of color have been hanged. Because of their skin. They've been lynched because of their skin. They've been set on fire. Because of their skin. They've been beheaded. Because of their skin. They've been drawn and quartered. Because of their skin. They've been tied to car bumpers and dragged, the modern day drawing and quartering. Because of their skin.

People of color have been stabbed because of their skin. People of color have been shot because of their skin. People of color have been brutalized because of their skin.

At a rate so astoundingly high that it should silence the voices of anyone that would like to imply that people of all races have had these problems. 

And the thing is, law enforcement has not been innocent of these crimes. Not when slavery first took hold, not when segregation was being challenged and not now. I am in no way saying that every law enforcement officer is guilty. Not at all. No way and no how. 

But some are a problem. 

Some have always been a problem.

And we, as white people, have not done enough historically and currently to eradicate these demons from our bevy of protectors. I'm sorry but we just haven't. We get too defensive when the topic is brought up, letting our guilt take over and allowing us to continue on practicing in a racist world. 

And now, because of it, we're at the motherfucking crossroads of all crossroads. Cause this is where we've ended up (and this here is my blog point):

When people of color see a law enforcement official with a gun in their hands, at their hip or even just in their holster, it is just like seeing anyone else off the street in possession of a gun. And, be honest, if someone you don't know approaches you with a weapon, you're going to be beyond uneasy. If they look like they mean business with that weapon when they call for your attention, that weapon starts to look bigger and bigger and badder and badder. 

We need to understand that in a lot of cases people of color are operating their daily lives with a severe case PTSD. Their entire history as a people, since the white man came into their lives, has been traumatic. Every step to reclaiming their freedom has been traumatic. And their "free" existence now continues to be traumatic. 

We cannot expect them to look at the world with the same eyes we do, for we have not been through the same things. Yes, some Caucasian people do not feel safe around police and other paid protectors, the same way that some people of color have been raised in an environment that sees them as people before seeing them as a demographic and therefore see the police as the good guys most of them are. 

But neither of these is the norm. 

And we need to understand that. 

We need to understand that there is a long history of violence that leads us to the fears that still linger today. When we have a friend or loved one that's a victim of abuse, we understand that people that remind them of their abuser can cause them to feel excruciating fear and have a desperate need to get away to safety. And we need to start looking at our current situation this way. We need to start understanding that people in uniform have one connotation for some people while having an entirely different connotation for others and these connotations are crucial to our ability to function as a civilized society. 

I'm very aware that there are situations that fall out of these parameters (like the fact that it seems we have people of color complying and still being killed) but, as I said earlier, I wanted to focus my blog on this one very specific topic. 

We say if people run from the police, they deserve whatever they get. But we forget that it's really not that simple. 

And we need to really work together as a country to stop this violence now before it grows even further. Before the United States becomes bedlam and we lose more good people and good law enforcement. Because, here's the thing...

Police officers and others in uniform are beginning to feel like they're being judged for the clothes they have on and not for who they actually are. 

They're starting to feel like people see them coming and automatically make negative judgements about them.

Police officers are even more afraid for their lives than normal because they think someone might shoot them either out of fear, anger or just because. 

Police officers are starting to feel like people of color. 

And when people who are required to carry and be skilled at using weaponry start feeling like they're backed into a corner, our country will be the bloodied victim. And we will have no one but ourselves to blame. 

Questions

Normally, I like to think that I have all the answers. Although I certainly haven't fooled myself into thinking I'm an astronaut or rocket scientist, I do like to think that I know stuff. I do well at Jeopardy. My educated guesses are pretty right on. I tend to figure out who the killer is pretty early in movies or tv shows. And I pick up things fairly quickly, in general. Basically, I'm awesome. 

But, this isn't that kind of blog post. 

Cause there are just some things that I don't understand. 

Like, superficial judgement. Whether it has do to with your race or gender or physical appearance, whatever. I don't get superficial judgement. I don't understand how just by looking at me, you think you know me. Skinny and fat shaming fall into this category. Thinking people with tattoos are somehow less responsible would fit into this one too. I mean, I just mentioned that I think I'm smart and yet I can promise you that those things don't help me determine what you're like. How the fuck do I know what you're like until I actually talk to you?

And another one. Religion. Judging people on their religion, I just don't understand. I mean, fuck off. If you know anything about the major religions we've got going on, you know that they're pretty similar in the things they preach. Sure, the stories they use are different but the morals tend to be very close to one another. So, why aren't religious people just happy that there are other religious people out there? Why aren't they happy that so many other people share their thoughts on how to live their life while they're here? Why isn't being a person of faith something that draws those people together instead of dividing them so significantly so often? 

And along those same lines, why is it that people are so intent on mixing religion and government? The same people that are constantly talking about how the second amendment is woven in gold and shouldn't have any limits of any kind have no problem disregarding freedom of religion and separation of church and state. How can you claim that one amendment is more important than another like that? And if you start reminding me that there isn't much ahead of the right to bear arms in the constitution, I'll remind you that freedom of religion is one of those that is. So given that, why does anyone think it's okay to force their religion on anyone else? I don't care how good you think yours is, faith and religion are very personal things and to tell anyone that you should be in charge of how they show their faith and choose to worship is criminal and a personal violation. 

Nextly (Yes, I know that's not a word, so what), why is it so fucking hard for some people to put themselves in someone else's shoes? Do we really need to have experienced something in order to be able to determine whether something is shitty or not? How is it that so many people can willfully ignore real problems and issues just because it isn't affecting them directly? How does it not cause them actual pain to see others in pain? How is this not a thing that everyone deals with? 

Also, why is it the initial reaction of so many to blame the victim? Is the idea of a broken system or fallen hero so horrifying to you that you would chose to stick your head in the sand, or worse, blame the injured party just in order to sleep better at night? And why isn't blaming the victim keeping you awake? Why does ignoring a real problem put some at ease instead of fighting for what's right? I understand that ignorance is bliss but what about an outright refusal to admit what you have to know deep down? Is that bliss as well? 

And are there really that many people out there that actually think that their race is a superior race? Cause sometimes it really seems like there are still a lot of people out there like that. Is that just a magnification of the terrible the way that tends to happen with the media or is that still a significant percentage of people? And for those people who truly believe this, how is that even possible? How can anyone actually think that one race is better than another? How can pigmentation mean so fucking much? 

And to that same end, are there also really people out there that think one gender is better than another? Do some feminists really believe women are better than men? Do other people really think that the majority of feminists have this warped view? Do some men really believe that they deserve to earn more for the same level of work? And are there really both men and women who think that the man should be the head of the household and the woman be subservient? And I don't mean just having traditional roles, I mean actually thinking that the man is the boss of the woman, as if husband replaces father and woman stays a child. 

Here's another: do most people really believe that their country is better than every other country and the people in it? Do most Americans really believe that they're better than other people from other places? And not your standard, respectful patriotism but the actual belief that being American means being better? And is the state of our country today not giving you pause in this belief system?

Question: are there really people out there that think that we can make life better for anyone through hate? Are there really people who don't view hate as a disease that needs to be eradicated? Are there really people left in this world who don't realize that hate destroys the soul, poisons the heart and decays the brain?

And with that same thought in mind, how does hurting other people not make some people feel terrible inside? How does causing pain in others not make some people wither inside? How can you cause tears in another and not feel a part of you die inside? And how does it seem like some people thrive on this feeling? How can it be that some people get energy from the destruction they cause in others? I was a dick to a guy in the drive-thru of an Arby's in Los Angeles about five to seven years ago and I still haven't been able to let it go. I was wrong and I was a dick and my friend told me so and I still feel bad. How is it that there are some people who don't work this way? 

And finally, how is it that for some people a stranger's own personal experiences and life choices are so deeply offensive? This one really fucks me up -- I just don't get it. I just don't understand. And if there's someone out there that this is true for, please, I beg you -- educate me. How is someone else's life experience -- someone that you don't know, someone who has no bearing on your life -- how do their actions and how does their life, in general, become so violently offensive to you? Why do you feel it's your place to watch them, judge them and then attempt to eviscerate them from afar just because you disagree with the way they classify themselves or the way feel they have to live their life in order to be true to themselves? And you know exactly what I'm talking about here, not serial killing, not theft or torture -- but choosing to become a more whole person, from their own perspective. How do you feel it's your place to take a very real and very painful situation and try to crush the person struggling with their own identity?

So these are just some of the questions I have. These are some of the things I've been struggling with, both lately and for a lot of my life. And sometimes it just gets tiring to try and try and try to come up with answers when it seems like so many people don't have any desire to actually come up with solutions. So, instead I wanted to share my questions and struggles with you, knowing that there are other people out there that have the same things going around in their minds. Maybe together we can work some things out.

God Doesn't Make Mistakes

I'd like to talk for just a minute to my religious and faithful brethren out there. No matter who you pray to or what God you worship -- I'm not trying to single any faith out here. 

There's a statement, an idea, that I've heard all of my life and I'm hearing it being thrown around a lot right now. Most of you can guess the topic which brings out this statement but I'm making a point to not even address the statement in a particular context. I'd just like to talk about the statement itself. 

First off, I'd like to just say that although I'm no longer religious, I don't have a problem with the concept of this statement, just for anyone thinking that I'm looking to pick apart a common religious sentiment just for the hell of it. 

This is not what's going on. This is just my half of a discussion that I'd really like to be a part of. And the discussion involves this statement right here:

GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES.

Now, most of the time when people use this -- or at least when they shout it boldly from behind their computer screens -- it's to talk about how something we humans are doing to mess with God's plan. And that's the use of the statement that I'd like to address here. 

I would like to quickly preface here that for the sake of this discussion, I'm asking that we all just jump on board with the concept of God. Afterwards, feel free to believe what you like God-wise. We all got that sweet, sweet free will (from God, if that's what you believe) to make our own choices about our lives and I'm not looking to change any of that.

So, anyway. People, let's talk about God not making mistakes. 

The thing is, you're right. God is God. If God is the all-powerful being we believe God is, God does not make mistakes. God has a plan. God doesn't just "wing it". And if God does, the winging goes well. God is God. 

So, here's my two cents:

How dare you question God's plan? How dare you, a mere mortal, decide what is part of God's plan and what isn't? Who are you to decide what God has intended for us? How are you, human, able to so decipher the complexities of God?

Is it instinct you're using? A hunch you have that something you're witnessing doesn't seem "kosher" to you? What exactly are you using as your basis for telling people that GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES? 

Because you're no more special than the rest of us. You have no finer link to God than everyone else. God made sure we all had the direct dial line. And it's pretty incredible that you feel that you have better knowledge and vision as to what God has set in motion for us.

And that -- that arrogance that you possess that makes you think that you have the ability and the right to pick apart and judge God and God's plan -- is a sin. And it's a big one. You haven't refused to go to bed when your parents tell you or decided to watch the game instead of paying a visit to God's house, you're questioning God. 

Because, you know what? And this is for real. I mean, really for really real. Please take this next sentiment very seriously. You have no evidence that anything that is happening -- at any time -- is not part of God's plan. In fact, God is pretty fucking powerful, so the idea that someone could actually come along and interfere with God's plan is a little fucking silly if you're a true Believer. 

So, I guess the question for you is: Are you a true Believer? Are you truly among God's faithful? Because each and every time you question God like this, you're essentially saying "you fucked up, God. This shouldn't be happening. Man is more powerful than you and can change your will whenever he or she likes." Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're trying to tell God?

You are all right, GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES. That's an impossibility for a Believer. So whatever you're questioning, whatever it is that seems so ungodly to you, understand that it's your lack of faith in God's plan leading you to these statements. Instead ask yourself:

What's God trying to teach me?

What's God trying to show me?

How is God making this an opportunity for me to show my strength and love in God's plan and for all of God's children?

Because the thing is, God doesn't make mistakes. God always knows. God is everywhere, in everyone and in everything. God offers us the chance to grow in every situation we're in: in love, in compassion and in understanding. 

As human beings and Believers, we need to stop questioning God. We need to stop pretending that we can ever possibly understand God. If we believe that God is real (and at least for the sake of this blog that's what we're doing) and that God is where we all come from, how could we possibly wrap our heads around everything that God is? It's just insulting to God to even imply that's possible. 

And no true Believer is ever looking to insult God. 

So, please, if you're a true Believer I ask that you stop using the statement GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES to tell other's that what they're doing is ungodly. Because, quite frankly, you have no idea. And maybe it's time we repurpose this phrase and use it at face value and the next time you witness someone passing this kind of judgement onto another person, you can quietly tell them "listen, man. God doesn't make mistakes. This is all part of The Plan."